Baby # 2

   Well if you are my friend on Facebook or Instagram you would know that we are expecting Baby number 2! We are very excited. I plan on doing belly updates starting Friday. I will 16 weeks then! Well as I have already said I was on my 4th round of Clomid and I still wasn't getting pregnant. I went to my specialist to start doing some tests to see what was wrong with me. I had to wait 8 weeks after my last dose so my hormones would be straight. I got my period about 7 weeks in so I would have to wait until my next period so I could get tested. Well a few weeks after that I started to feel very bloated. No sickness or anything I was just feeling chunky. So I thought we'll I am pregnant which I highly doubted or I just needed to start running again. It was a Sunday and we had just gotten back from a drive up the canyon. On the way home we talked about how we both feel strongly about adoption and that would be the best route to go right now. When I got home I decided to take a test just in case. I used the test and left the bathroom. I have taken so many tests and have seen so many negative signs that i really didn't want to look. About 20 minutes later I went in to look at it. It was positive. Braxton was home and I said his name and came out of the bathroom holding the stick with tears in my eyes. Braxton didn't believe it he was like stop playing around but once he saw my face I think he knew I was serious. Braxton made be drink a gallon of water so I could take another test and sure enough it was positive. I took about 12 tests, set up my appointment and the rest is history.
  I have learned that The Lord answers his prayers on his own timeline. We were praying so hard every night and we had faith that things would work out. Sure enough our prayers have been answered. Adalee is excited and I think she understands what is going on. I am due December 27th. It is a terrible time of year for a birthday but all I want is a healthy baby anyway!  Thanks for all the prayers on our behalf also!

That moment!

 Every parent has those moments when your child just makes your heart melt. Some days it happens more than once, some days maybe it is just a smile but everyday I fall more and more in love. Little Adalee is so much fun and very loving. She knows just how to pull at your heart strings. A few weeks ago for example I just didn't feel well. I think all of the fertility drugs that I have taken has really screwed up my body and I have been in terrible pain. Just as the pain was getting worse, I had tears streaming down my face, Adalee came over and said "momma, you ok?" I said "yes baby, momma is just in a lot of pain right now." She then came and laid down facing me and said " I love you" then wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me, she only laid there for a few moments but it couldn't have been better. Or that moment when we tell her it is time for prayers and she sits next to Braxton, lays her head on his shoulder, folds her arms and reverently waits to say amen. Or that moment when someones run into are grocery basket at the store and she says "oh excuse me" or she accidently  knocks into someone at the park and she says "sorry". It is times like this that i feel we are doing something right. In her short 2 years of life she has taught us more than we could imagine and best of all she has taught us the true love of Christ and there is nothing better!

Emotions!

Do you ever just sit in bed and think? Most nights i have a hard time going to sleep because my mind is racing 200 mph. Sometimes i worry, sometimes i act out scenarios in my head and think about what i would do (yea i kick peoples trash), and sometimes it is just random like tonight. Tonight i was thinking about being pregnant. I miss it! I want to feel a baby move in my belly again. I cant even comprehend how awesome women's body's are though. I mean we can grow a baby!! Choosing to let go of your body and your slim figure so that you can bring a human being in the world is amazing and that decision was hard for me. I was selfish. I wasn't ready for my pants to not fit. I wasn't ready to get stretch marks or gain weight. I have always been petite and i have always had a decent body but now i have stretch marks galor, my hips are wider, my stomach isn't flat.I still have baby fat on my stomach. ( i know you people want to slap be right now because i am skinny) but it isn't the same. 

But now this time around i want to punch myself for ever being selfish. Because now i want to pregnant , i want more than anything to bring another baby in this world and i can't. Before i wanted to be pregnant also, but it is just different now. I kind of have always thought that i would struggle with infertility. Once a doctor told me i would have trouble having babies.. why i don't know but when he said it i knew it was true. The hardest thing for me to to see all the pregnant people around me. Utah is like pregnant central if you haven't noticed..My sister told me the other day that " it sucks because she can get pregnant easily but hates being pregnant". I never really thought about that before she said something. I am not envious of people who are having babies because they want to have a family, it is the people who are having babies and don't care about them. 

I am going to start going to a specialist now. He is a reproductive endocrinologist (whatever that means). I did my third round of clomid and it obviously didn't work, so they are afraid my uterus is shutting down. I will know after i go to the specialist what might be wrong and they will go from there.

I know that i am ranting but a blog is an outlet to let go of your emotions right? So many people struggle with this and all i can think about is how grateful i am for Adalee and that she is ours! I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. Like i have said before i know we will have more children. for now i will hold my baby a little tighter, and thank Heavenly Father for all of my blessings again and again. Till next time!

I babysit the boy on the left 2 times a week. He and Adalee are best buds! Here they are making pizza for dinner.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, Christmas is so much better with children! Adalee had so much fun this year and really got into it. On Christmas Eve we opened Christmas Pajamas. I put her baby doll in the box and told her that it was the doll's bed. Then she got in the box and tried to lay down.

Here are some pictures of Adalee opening her presents!

The baby doll stroller was such a hit!

She shouldn't have opened the stroller first because all she wanted to do was play with it.

Her horsey from Grandma and Grandpa!

So excited!

This is a little horse that came in a purse that she got from Grandma and Grandpa also. She LOVED IT!

Loves her purse!

All girl!

All of her stuff. The table and chairs and the doll stroller were her favorite.

Braxton's 3 brothers came over on Christmas Eve and spent the night. In the morning we opened presents and just played and played. The boys all played video games and then we watched a movie. Then we had dinner. It was delicious! Eldon was in charge of the green bean casserole, he didn't get the ingredients before all of the stores closed so he had to buy everything at Walgreens. They didn't have friend onions so he got funyuns instead.. it was actually really good. I also made a jello pretzel salad which didn't turn out very pretty but it was really yummy! It was a very relaxing day and i would't have had it any other way!

Yummy DINNER!

                                                                          ENJOY!